


911 Calls From Jaime Lannister

by sassbewitchedmyass



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: also completely ridiculous, fluffy goodness, it is what it is, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-16 23:22:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20611052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sassbewitchedmyass/pseuds/sassbewitchedmyass
Summary: A tumblr quote post that I had to continue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Like most all things I do, this fic started as a quote post on tumblr. But the people wanted the date, so BEHOLD, the date! Hope you guys like it.

Jaime: 911? Yeah, my sister-in-law is going into labor.  
911 operator: Is this her first child?   
Jaime: No, this is her brother-in-law!  
911 operator: *hysterically laughing*  
~  
911 operator: This is 911, what’s your emergency?  
Jaime: Is this the operator I spoke to yesterday?   
911 operator: I’m sorry?   
Jaime: I’m Jaime Lannister. The guy who’s sister was in labor.   
911 operator: Oh, yes sir. That was me.   
Jaime: You laughed.   
911 operator: I did. That was incredibly insensitive. I’m so sorry.   
Jaime: What’s your name?   
911 operator: Are you going to report me?  
Jaime: No. I’m gonna ask you on a date.   
911 operator: Absolutely not.   
Jaime: Why?   
911 operator: We don’t even know each other!   
Jaime: Isn’t that the whole point of a date? To get to know each other?  
911 operator: I’m hanging up now, Sir.   
Jaime: Wait! Can you just tell me your name, please?   
911 operator:...  
911 operator: It’s Brienne.   
Jaime, smiling: Goodbye, Brienne.   
~  
Jaime: 911? My niece is going to prom.   
Brienne: Mr. Lannister, is- is that you?   
Jaime: She’s only 16!   
Brienne: *sighs* That’s usually when they go, Sir.   
Jaime: I need a police officer here.   
Brienne: You have an actual problem, Sir?   
Jaime: Yes I have a problem! Somebody has to tell her she can’t go! And it’s not gonna be me!   
Brienne: Sir...  
Jaime: What would you do? How would you stop her?   
Brienne, through gritted teeth: I wouldn’t. Let her go to the damn prom and quit being a jackass about it!   
Jaime:...  
Brienne: I’m sorry. That was rude.   
Jaime: No. You’re right. I like you Brienne.  
Brienne: Goodbye, Sir.   
~  
Jaime: 911? I accidentally stepped on my dogs tail and I need to be arrested.   
Brienne: *sighs* Mr. Lannister, you have got to stop this.   
Brienne: I’m hanging up now. Tell your dog you’re sorry and give it a treat.   
Jaime: Thanks, Brienne! I’ll talk to you tomorrow!   
Brienne: Please don’t.   
~  
Brienne: This is 911, what’s your emergency?   
Jaime: Good morning, Brienne!   
Brienne: Mr. Lannister you have to stop-  
Jaime: I’m pretty sure it’s a real emergency this time!  
Brienne: How sure?   
Jaime, hesitantly: 12%   
Brienne: Goodbye, Mr. Lannister.   
~  
Brienne: This is 911, what’s your emergency?   
Jaime: How’s your day going, Brienne?   
Brienne: You know you can be arrested for this?   
Jaime: For what?  
Brienne: Making fake 911 calls.   
Jaime: They’re not fake!   
Brienne: They are.   
Jaime: I say they’re not, and I’m the victim here!   
Brienne: You’re not! You’ve never been the victim! The closest we got was when your sister-in-law was in labor.   
Jaime: Hmmmm. Yeah, that’s pretty accurate.   
Brienne: I have to go now.   
Jaime: Are you gonna have me arrested?   
Brienne: Are you gonna call me again?   
Jaime: For sure.   
Brienne: Goodbye, Mr. Lannister.   
Jaime: Jaime. Call me Jaime, Brienne.   
Brienne, softly: Goodbye, Jaime.  
~  
Brienne: This is 911, what’s your emergency?   
Jaime: Hello, Brienne.  
Brienne: Dear gods.   
Jaime: Wait! Don’t hang up! Would you like to go on a date with me?   
Brienne: *sighing* Not this again.   
Jaime: Just one date! And if you don’t like me, I’ll leave you alone. I promise.   
Brienne: Are you serious?   
Jaime: Serious as a heart attack! Haha get it?   
Brienne, rolling her eyes: Yeah, I get it.   
Jaime: So?  
Brienne, quietly: You’re not going to like me.   
Jaime: Oh, I like you already. Very much.   
Brienne, softly: One date. That’s it.   
Jaime: That won’t be it though, Brienne.   
Brienne: Excuse me?   
Jaime: I’m going to make you fall in love with me.   
Brienne: I-  
Jaime: Have you ever known a man to be so persistent?  
Brienne: I should have had you arrested.   
Jaime: But you didn’t. See, you like me already.   
Jaime: I’ll call you tomorrow.   
Brienne: Wait! Let me give you my number!   
Jaime: I already have it.   
Brienne: Not 911!  
Jaime: But it’s our thing.   
Brienne: It’s really not.   
Jaime: It is. Goodbye, Brienne.   
Brienne, laughing: Goodbye, Jaime.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The date!

He watched as she waited at the hostess stand, curling and uncurling her fingers anxiously in the pleats of her black dress. He was almost a hundred percent sure it was her. Her mannerisms matched perfectly with the soft, slightly anxious voice that had come through the phone the last time they’d spoken. 

She wasn’t at all what he’d expected. 

Her mile long legs were the first thing to catch his eye when she’d walked through the door. He was certain she was taller than him, maybe an inch or so. He wouldn’t have to bend in half to kiss her. Most likely, he’d actually have to tip toe to reach her lips. He smiled at the thought, he had no idea why it brought a flicker of warmth to his chest, but he decided he wasn’t going to analyze it. It was what it was. 

He traced his eyes over the curves of her face, her nose had a crook, as if it had been broken, possibly more than once, and he caught sight of a small dimple in her cheek as she smiled nervously at the hostess. He wondered if she had one to match on the other side. A perfect set he could brush his thumbs across as he cradled her face before a kiss, before a good morning or good night, or just for the hell of it, because he couldn’t help himself but to touch her. 

Her pale blond hair was pulled back in a low twist, messy little curls escaping and brushing across her cheek, her blushing freckled cheek. The longer she waited at the hostess stand, the deeper the blush became, and the deeper the blush became, the more freckles appeared. The more freckles that appeared, the more Jaime wanted to count them, touch them, kiss them. 

No, she wasn’t at all what he’d expected, she was better. 

Tyrion had told him he was insane when he’d explained his plan to ask the shy 911 operator out. 

“You don’t even know what she looks like!” He’d raged, hands waving wildly in the air for emphasis. His brother had always had a flare for the dramatic. 

Jaime could only smile. It didn’t matter. Something about her pulled at him, sinking into his chest and taking up residence there. From the first time he’d heard her laugh, the attraction had been instant- raw and real and so completely out of character for him.

Normally, he would never in a million years ask a near stranger out on a date, but he’d had to. He didn’t have another explanation for it. It wasn’t a want, it was a need, scraping at his already frayed nerves until the moment she’d said yes. 

“She could be a murderer! She could be a con artist! She might know exactly who you are, and she’s been playing coy this whole time to get close to your money!” Tyrion continued his tirade, jabbing a finger into Jaime’s chest with every accusation. 

“I think it’s romantic.” Sansa had argued, taking Jaime’s side against her suspicious husband.

“She’s none of those things, Tyrion.” Jaime assured, swatting Tyrion’s finger away, and standing from the barstool he’d been perched on. “She’s a bit shy, and so completely endearing. And she has a voice like honey and her laugh-“

“Oh my gods!” Sansa had cut him off with a squeal. “You’re in love with her!”

“I’m not-“

“You are!” She cheered, rounding the counter, and handing baby Catelyn to Tyrion, before coming to stand in front of Jaime. 

Clutching his shoulders and giving him a gentle shake, she repeated softly, “You’re in love with her.”

“Sansa-“ He began, but Sansa arched her delicate brow, and Jaime fell silent. 

He didn’t love her. He didn’t. He didn’t even know her really, but gods he wanted to. She seemed like such a contradiction, one moment her voice snapped with calm resolve, and the next, aching vulnerability bled across the line. 

He didn’t just want to meet her, he needed to, but he wasn’t in love with her. 

The slam of a door brought him back from his thoughts, and when Jaime glanced up, Brienne was nowhere in sight. 

Standing swiftly, he knocked over his chair, sending it crashing into the table behind him. He didn’t look back, or apologize, he had to find her. The hostess offered him an apologetic tilt of her head, darting her eyes between him and the door. 

She’d left. He could feel an embarrassed flush rising in his cheeks, she hadn’t even given him a chance. He faltered, doubt creeping into his mind, maybe she’d never wanted to meet him. Maybe she was afraid of him. He would never hurt her, but she couldn’t know that for sure. 

His shoulders slumped. This was a stupid idea. He should just let her go, but his legs were shaking with the effort it took him to stand still, muscles trembling in preparation to run after her. 

Fuck it. He had to know for sure. 

Flying out of the door like his ass was on fire, he swung it open with such force that it slammed into the wall, breaking a few of the triangular panes of glass with the impact. Again, he didn’t look back. He’d pay for whatever damages he’d caused, but right now his sole focus was finding Brienne. 

As he stepped into the humid night air, he desperately scanned the sidewalk. She wasn’t hard to find, with that height she never would be.

He hurried over to the curb where she was standing, trying to hail a cab, and grasped her bicep. The skin beneath his palm heating instantly at his touch. 

“Are you Brienne?”

He watched as she closed her eyes slowly and took a deep breath. She never turned to face him as she murmured softly, “No.”

Jaime dropped her arm and took a step back, an apology balancing on the tip of his tongue, until he saw her blush. It crept up her neck and seeped into her cheeks, painting them a deep cherry red. 

She’d lied. Jaime wasn’t sure what to do. She didn’t seem afraid of him, only... somewhat uncomfortable. With him? With the whole situation? He didn’t know. 

He brushed a moonlight curl off cheek and asked quietly, “You sure?”

He cringed. He shouldn’t have done that. She should have hauled off and punched him, he wouldn’t have blamed her at all. 

She swallowed hard at his touch, her blush deepening to an almost purplish hue. “Yes.”

Shoving his hands into his pockets to keep himself from reaching for her again, he asked lightly, “What’s your name then?”

Her eyelids flickered as she glanced down the street. Still not meeting his eyes, she stammered, “I’m... um... Visenya.”

“That’s the name of the street we’re on.”

“Yes.”

“And that’s also your name?”

With a frustrated sigh, she finally turned to face him fully, and Jaime took an involuntary step back. 

Brienne flinched. The heated blush that had pinked her freckled cheeks a moment ago melted away, until her skin was nearly the same moonlight shade of her hair. 

She wasn’t conventionally pretty, not at all, and he imagined she had more than a few people’s cruel words echoing through her mind when he’d taken a step back. But it wasn’t because she repulsed him, quite the opposite. 

Her eyes. They were mesmerizing. In all of his thirty-eight years, he’d never seen the like. Wide and utterly guileless and luminous in the glow from the streetlight, and the color- there wasn’t a single color Jaime could think of that could come close to doing them justice. Where the sapphire sea met the cloudless sky, that’s where her eyes belonged. 

The silence stretched between them, but he couldn’t think of a single thing to say. 

Finally, he took a step forward and she immediately stepped back, throwing her hand up between them to stop his approach. 

She met his eyes and let her hand drop, wrapping both arms tightly across her middle before quietly explaining, “I’m sure you’re very nice, but you’re just too good looking.”

“Excuse me?”

Her brow furrowed as she pointed a finger at him. “Look at you! I just can’t- I - I have to go”

He grabbed her finger, pulling her closer. “Why?”

She looked genuinely surprised and a bit confused, and Jaime watched, captivated, as a dozen other emotions flitted across her face in the millisecond it took her to ask, “I-are you blind?”

“No.” He said softly, tugging her an inch closer by the finger he still held. 

“I- I don’t understand.”

Letting go of her finger, he wrapped his fingers around her hand, shaking it as he smiled. “I’m Jaime Lannister and I’m your date for the night.”

“I still don’t understand.” She repeated, the little wrinkles between her eyes deepening before she asked, voice tinged with tears, “Is this a joke?”

Jaime’s heart clenched painfully, a flood of tenderness crashing through him at that one small word. Who had hurt her so deeply? Who had chipped away at her self confidence, so much so, that she couldn’t even recognize sincerity? 

He wanted to hold her so badly, his arms ached with it. He’d told her he was going to make her fall in love with him, but he was the one falling in love. If he were being honest with himself, from the moment he’d heard her laugh, he’d already been falling. 

He brushed his thumb along the palm of her hand in soothing circles. “This isn’t a joke. I’d very much like to take you on our first date now.”

“First?”

“First of many.”

“Could we maybe- could we-“

Jaime tightened his hold on her hand, tugging her a little bit closer. “What is it?”

She sank her teeth into her bottom lip, worrying the chapped flesh for a moment, before taking a deep breath, and rambling on a ragged exhale, “Could we maybe just get a hotdog? There’s a stand around the corner and I just don’t do well in fancy restaurants or dresses really and I-“

Her mouth snapped closed when he rested a hand on her bare shoulder. 

“We can do whatever you want.” He said softly, gently, trying to reassure her. They could stand right here and continue talking for the rest of the night, or he could hail her a cab and say goodbye to her forever. Whatever she wanted. 

Her shoulders relaxed and she tilted her head, eyeing him curiously. “Whatever I want?”

“Yes.”

“A hotdog?”

“Yes.”

“Two hotdogs?”

He laughed. “Yes.”

“A walk in the park?”

“Yes.”

“Can I take off these heels?”

“Of course. Although,” he let go of her hand and stepped back, letting his eyes roam over her body, to her black stilettos and back again, “they suite you.”

Her brow furrowed again. In less than half an hour with her, he was already becoming attached to those little wrinkles. 

“But I’m taller than you.” She said quietly, a splash of color spreading across her chest. 

“Yes.”

“I-“ she faltered, and then reaching out with a trembling hand, she tentatively grasped his. “You’re very odd, Jaime Lannister.”

“Are you in love with me yet?”

He was transfixed as her lips tilted up in a tiny smile, a pretty flush painting the apples of her cheeks, and to his delight, revealing more freckles.

“Maybe a little.” 

He squeezed her hand gently, lifting himself onto his tip toes to whisper in her ear, “I can do better than that.”

She laughed and Jaime smiled. 

That laugh had been the beginning of it all, and hopefully, he’d never have to go another day without it.


End file.
